Tech at the Table: Hi or Low?

I will admit that I was a slow adapter to the use of computers at the game table. In high school, I was the primary owner of “The Library”—our group’s collection of gaming books. Each time we got together for game, I brought the bulk of them to each game. Once I moved out and had my own place, I could host the games there and the library could grow beyond what would be feasible for me to pack up and carry on a weekly basis.

The most frustrating part of a physical book was trying to track down specific rules. You could guarantee the game would come to a screeching halt, as players were trying to remember which book the rule came from. Admittedly, if you are only using the core books for any particular game, this might be easy enough. Still, there is nothing worse than stopping the game to find a specific rule.

The thing that really changed gaming for me was the laptop and my external hard drive. Between the two of them, I have been able to radically cut down on the number of books that are cluttering the table (or that I need to carry with me). I have invested a pretty good chunk of money changing out my hard copy game books for digital versions, thanks to sites like DriveThruRPG. Most companies make their PDFs searchable, which means a simple CTRL+F and you can search the whole document and have it in no time.

Beyond the digital library, I also like the laptop for a number of other reasons. I can keep all of my game notes in one place. I usually have my digital notes set up through OneNote, with individual “notebooks” for each game and sections for each player/character. This lets me quickly make notes of how they are reacting to individual storylines, short-term and long-term goals, enemies they acquire, as well as any other little tidbits that might be usable in future chapters.

Another useful tool I use is a simple Excel spreadsheet.  I usually have one tab set up to handle combat, keeping track of initiative and quick reference information for NPCs, and a running tabulation of XP earned for the session. When I do my initial prep work for the campaign, I will also set up a tab t

hat has a set of random names, and a few random generators for race, class, gender for NPCs and another tab to let me keep track of any NPCs I had to generate and which PC they are attached to for ease of reference. Especially given the number of times my players like to go off the beaten path of an adventure, this lets me quickly provide them some defined people within the game world they can interact with and gives the game a bit more life.

I also use instant messaging with my players. This has eliminated note passing and allows me to copy and paste their notes and ideas directly to their notebook pages. Between game sessions, I also use instant messaging to conduct one-on-one sessions with my players and plan for any activities they might be interested in doing if they will be absent from a game. I can keep annotated transcripts of these with the rest of their character information as well and try to weave pieces of these side stories into the main narrative when the opportunity arises.

With sites like Roll20, we have also been able to use the computer to connect with players that would otherwise be unable to join. Additionally, we have also made use of Roll20 even with all of the players in the same room, using a projector to put the game map up on a wall, instead of drawing it on a map pad. The one drawback I found with Roll20 is making sure that all of the players are familiar with how to use the built in character sheets and the various macros the system supports for dice rolling and use of special powers. I imagine, however, once everyone is comfortable with the controls, this platform will meet many needs for groups.

I will be the first to admit, though, that the game can suffer with so much tech at the table. With access to instant messenger, you might lose a player to social media. Or another might disappear into a book. I know I have been guilty during sessions as a player of doing my homework during the game if I am not getting engaged by what is happening. Even if you limit access to computers, the ubiquitous cellphone presents many of the same problems.

Like most of my recommendations, I would talk it over with your players to see how much, or how little, tech you really need to have to make the game work for everyone. While it can be great to be able to have some ambiance-enhancing music playing from your machine, there is nothing more distracting than hearing the constant PING of an instant messaging program going off. And as wonderful as it is to have a library of hundreds of books accessible at any time, it can also lead to player disconnect. Plus, there is the making sure you have enough space for any maps, minis, props, food and drink, etc. on the table.

If you have enough space, I would recommend the GM have a computer. There are generally more Pros to this decision than Cons. From there, I would really consider what do your players need to have access to in order to facilitate easy game play? Now that most folks have smartphones, instant messaging apps are easy enough to come by, as are a number of apps for various games. This can help eliminate the clutter and help your players stay engaged in the game.

I have also been in period games where GMs have banned players from having anything other than their dice, character sheet, and a pencil with them. Having been a player in this style set up, make sure that you are watching your players for signs of boredom. I know that I was emoting pretty heavily, by repeatedly building towers with my dice, and my GM was oblivious of it. The benefit to not having any tech in front of your players is that it should make it very easy to watch their body language. In order for this to be a benefit, though, you have to be willing to look up from your screen and engage with your players.

What type of tech set up do you use in your home games? Have you run into any disasters in game because of too much, or too little, tech available? Share your experiences in the comments below. 

Skeggbitr Víðirsen, Besmaran Priest - Pathfinder

With this blog, I hope to offer some example characters I have made at times. For the last several years, I have been playing quite a bit of Pathfinder Roleplaying Game. The following character was made to play in the Skull & Shackles Adventure Path and used the Background Generator found in Ultimate Campaign (and replicated in the official Pathfinder Reference Document and D20 PFSRD).

When I make a character I typically start with a pretty rough idea of the character, establishing the race and class I am interested in playing. From there, I will roll up a random background and see if there are any events in it that suggest certain stats or skills and make note of those. When I write up my background story, I try to integrate as much of the generated information as possible. If I get stuck on any items, I will make a note of them and come back and see if those missed pieces work in naturally once the story is generated.

This particular character is a little out of the box, as I had recently gotten the book, Bastards of Golarion and wanted to use some of the information there to create a dwarven character that had a bit of the sea in him. In order to achieve this, I used the rules presented for Undine and swapped out a couple of traits that gave him a more dwarven feel. Another thing to note is that when working with dwarves, I tend to borrow heavily for Norse names or Norse words and weave bits of real mythologies into the stories as well. Some folks might notice a similarity between Skegg's father's name and Manannán mac Lir, which is intentional. 


This character background is the type I mention in a previous post. If your players are struggling with generating a background story for their character, I generally recommend looking to heroic myths and legends from various world cultures for inspiration. They can be wonderful source material and no one is going to mind borrowing heavily from them. 
After arranging for his parents to be well cared for, Skegg arranged travel to The Shackles, where his heart called to him. He was certain that Besmara would provide the next clue to finding his father. He came to a tavern in port in search of his fate. He’s not sure how many drinks he had, but they quickly went to his head and he passed out on the table before he found his destiny—unless it lay in the bottom of a bottle. Then again, maybe he found his destiny after all...

Skeggbitr Víðirsen

Shortly after his mother, Helga Hjordisdóttir, was betrothed to Rénar Særúlfsen, she was visited by Mannan Víðirgott, a noble marid, who seduced the dwarven woman. When she grew heavy with child, months before taking her wedding vows to Rénar, the settlement was aghast and her betrothed accused her of infidelity. According to laws and traditions, she was to take the trial of water and was bound in metal shackles and cast into the sea. Mannann would not let the sea claim her, so he rusted away her bindings and washed her ashore along with many treasures from the deep. Those assembled blamed shoddy craftmenship and again bound her, this time with sturdier chains and again cast her into the sea. As before, Mannann corroded away her bindings and cast her gently on the beach, again with various treasures. Outraged, Rénar bound her in heavy rope and tied many stones to her and personally cast Helga into the sea. However, this time Mannann appeared from the waves with Helga in his arms.

“Twice have I tried to pay for the maiden hood I took and return this woman, unharmed. I know well your laws, and should one pass a trial alive, they are unguilty of their crime and so it is with this woman. But you, Rénar, son of Særúlf, son of Krellrað, son of Vetrsvinnr Banahǫgg, first of your line to come to this land with my help and guidance, put your pride above the laws of your people. From this day forward, you will find the sea no friend of yours. No fish will come to your net, no current will bear your weight, no wind will fill your sail. Any boat that carries you will be like doomed, as will any man or woman who harbors you.  You will be Vetnóvnir and yours will be a hard life.

“To the rest of you, your nets will remain barren for a year and a day. Fogs will swallow your boats and lead them astray and no ship, from near or far, shall find your port. You are thusly cursed for allowing your laws to be bent.

“As for the woman, her way will be made clear, and, as you wished, the waves will carry her far from you. She will bear forth a son and she will know love and happiness all the days of her life.”

With that, he crashed, like a mighty wave, into the ocean, washing Helga and the treasures away. The ships that were moored at the harbor were dashed upon the shore. By Mannann’s will, Helga was carried safely to the shores of Cassomir – Mannann’s treasures were tucked away within her clothes, his gift to her. A young brewer, also recently arrived in Cassomir, saw her body wash upon the shores and went down to see if she was well. Enkí Beorrbar fell in love the moment he saw her upon the beach and would eventually take her as his wife.

Four months after being washed ashore, Helga gave birth to Mannann’s son, giving him the name Vilífjor. The nursemaid was terrified of the child – his blueish-green coloring was an ill omen and the plumb body resembled that of a drowned corpse. His ears looked like fins and he had webbing between his fingers and toes. The babe was still and the nurse feared he was dead. However, he gasped for air and let out a terrible cry and the nurse nearly dropped the child.

Helga never shared with Vilífjor who his father was or that her people had attempted to kill her, preferring to tell him that her ship had sunk after colliding with a reef. When she washed ashore, she was full with child.

The treasures Mannann provided took care of the three of them for quite some time, during which time Enkí opened a small brewery, making his family ales and spirits. Unfortunately, he took to gambling and eventually, in order to clear his debts, he was forced to give over the secrets of his brew. He and Helga had the first of their children, a son named Atferðþol. Vilífjor was on the cusp of manhood and felt obligated to help take care of his younger brother. The sea often called to him, and Vilífjor found that his natural talents made him useful on the docks of Cassomir. It wasn’t long until he found himself hired as a seaman on the Merchant Vessel The Lady Amstone. He kept enough to make a meager living for himself and gave the rest to Enkí and his mother.

This was the first of many ships Vilífjor worked on. But, where ever the sea took him during the nearly twenty years, he would always come back to Cassomir. While he was at sea, his sister Sjórsilfra, was born.  While on the Elven ship, Loraquistriel¸ his last post, he was unable to keep his promise to his family. The ship was attacked by orcen brigands. It was not the first attack he had been part of, but it was also his introduction to personal firearms. He took a fatal shot to his chest and was tossed overboard with the rest of his crew.

Mannann felt his son call out with the last bit of energy he had, but it was too late. Vilífjor was dead, sinking to the bottom of the sea. While Mannann possessed a great deal of power, he could do nothing to restore his son to life. He appealed to the Gods, but only Besmara, the Pirate Queen, answered him. In return for Vilífjor’s life, Besmara demanded that Mannann bind himself to her, serving as her First Mate. She also insisted that the boy’s soul belonged to her. Mannann had lived the first part of his existence as a slave and cherished his freedom, but his only son meant more to him. He agreed.

A week later, Vilífjor washed on the shore of a small-uninhabited island. He woke to a small monkey knocking on his head, as if it were a coconut or gourd. Vilífjor snapped open his eyes and shot out his hand, meaning to grab the beast by the scruff of its neck. Instead, the monkey bit him and fled, laughing. Vilífjor pushed himself from the beach, seeing his flesh for the first time since his death. His skin had darkened, and looked like the sea itself, no longer did he look like a drowned corpse. He found a small inlet where he could gaze at his reflection. His copper hair was matted and tangled and looked like seaweed. Salt rimed the three short braids of his beard.

Again, he heard the laughing of the monkey. Vilífjor spun around and charged after the creature, travelling farther and farther into the wilds of the island until he finally came to a crudely constructed hut. In it, he found the recently dead remains of a human male. Among the corpse’s possessions were his journal, a book titled The Sea Queen’s Plunder which detailed the faith of Besmara, and a wooden holy symbol.  By the light of the fading sun, Vilífjor read the book. His soul was like the sea itself, and Besmara held a tidal pull on it. As night came, the monkey, who Vilífjor had taken to calling Erfiðr, a word meaning troublesome in his native tongue, tugged at his sleeves, urging the dwarf to leave the hut. Vilífjor gathered up the possessions and ran back to the beach. While he set about to make a fire, Erfiðr went and gathered food for the two of them.

Vilífjor slept, his belly filled, listening to the sounds of the waves. His mind was troubled and he dreamt of the depths, remembering what he could not remember – he was a dead man walking. Something in him grew sick and he woke to Erfiðr trying to pry open his eyelids. The dwarf snapped awake and was aware of a shuffling coming from the wilds. He had no weapon with which to defend himself and prayed Besmara might aid him with whatever it was that was coming.

The firelight caused the corpse’s skin to shine with a sickly orange light. It was the body of the old cleric. Like Vilífjor he too had animated and the dwarf knew well it was drawn by the life inside himself. With only Besmara’s holy symbol and his faith in the Pirate Queen, Vilífjor called on her holy might and was amazed when the undead creature jerked forward and halted, struck by some unseen force. But it continued forward. The dwarf tried again, but nothing happened.

“Surrender yourself to me, and only to me,” a woman’s voice whispered among the winds.

Vilífjor closed his eyes.

“Commit yourself to me, as your father did,” she called again.

The dwarf took a deep breath, dug deep within. “I commit myself to you, Besmara. My Queen!” He opened his eyes to find the undead priest nearly upon him. He brandished the wooden Jolly Roger at the walking Corpse and the creature froze in place. Vilífjor gestured with his left and a great wave rose up, controlled by his will. “You failed her, Tryphon. You are unworthy of her blessings.” He swung his arm, as if he meant to strike the creature with his fist. The wave followed through and slammed into the body of the dead priest, shattering the body and driving its animating force out of the body. The exertion was great and he collapsed to the ground.

In the morning, he found Erfiðr cleaning the skull of the dead priest. All the flesh and soft tissues were gone, leaving only bone behind. Using rocks, Vilífjor fashioned some rudimentary tools and weapons from Tryphon’s bones. Using a length of leather cord, he fashioned a mask from the skeletal face of the former priest. No bone went unused. From the knuckles and small bones, He also fashioned a set of casting dice. Back in Cassomir, he often bedded the elven seer, Seregruthion, who taught him how to cast dice and read their meanings.

The island served as Vilífjor’s home for several years. Armed with only a few bone tools and Erfiðr, he hunted the greater beasts of the island and subdued them. He fashioned an axe, similar to the one he carried with him as a seaman, from the shoulder of a great cat. He studied Besmara’s holy text and resolved that he was following in his father’s footsteps. He was certain that his father was foreign pirate and that it would be on the seas that he would finally learn his fate. He took the name Skeggbitr Ví∂irsen, meaning Bravebeard Son of the Sea, not realizing how close to his own father’s surname he had gotten.

Fashioning a simple boat from timbers he collected and a small sail that washed on the shore a few weeks ago, Skegg set sail from the island. Erfiðr was his second mate, and from their small vessel, they were able to loot a small pleasure boat. He used that to make his way back to Cossamir. Long had he been gone, and he wished to look in on his family. Enkí had again had a run in with owing money, but this time it was due to a slump in business. Skegg sold the small barge and had a courier bring the money to his family, fearful to return to them.

While in Cossamir, Skegg seduced the treasurer, a married man named Emin Sankar. Emin had been the man who had forced Enkí to sell his family brewing secrets. Aided by the seer— the only one Skegg revealed himself to— they arranged for Emin’s assistant find the treasurer with Seregruthion. The dwarf then blackmailed Emin, ensuring that his family would be well cared for in exchange for making those that caught Emin would never speak of it. Skegg arranged to have the assistant killed tragically.

This story was generated from the following set of random background events:

Homeland: Non-Dwarf Town or Village

Parents: Both parents are alive (Helga Hjordisdóttir and Enkí Beorrbar)

Siblings: Two Siblings

                        Sibling One: Younger Brother (Atferðþol Enkísen)

                        Sibling Two: Younger Sister (Sjórsilfra Enkídóttir)

Circumstance of Birth: Bastard Born (Father is a shahzada, or noble marid, named Mannann Ví∂irgott)

Parent’s Profession: Tradespeople  (Enkí is a brewer by trade and Helga is a clothier)

Major Event: Died

Training: Revelation

Influential Associates: The Seer (The elven seer Seregruthion, a former lover of Skegg)

Conflict: Seducer

            Subject: Civic or Military Official (Emin Sarkan, Cassomir Treasurer)

            Motivation: Revenge

            Resolution: Enjoyed it

Romantic Relationship: Several Inconsequential Relationships

Reward and Response

For many of us, gaming is a pastime, something we can do to escape the humdrum quagmire of our rather mundane existence. For a few hours, we can sit down at a table—virtually or in real-life—and we can create fictive worlds and relationships with others. The idea is that everyone is doing this because they are having fun, but as GMs, how can you tell if your players are having fun? And if they aren’t, how can you fix that?

The answer to these questions may seem obvious. “I know my players are having fun because they are laughing and joking and smiling,” answered one DM friend of mine. The problem is that through these signs your players are not always telling the truth. Certainly, in that moment, they may well have been having fun, but for others this can be a social camouflage they use to avoid attention.

“I can ask them if they are having fun,” said another friend, who went on to say, “I have a good rapport with my players and they would let me know if they weren’t having fun.” Great rapport definitely goes a long way, but remember that most people do not want to hurt their friends either. I know for me, I have blatantly exaggerated the amount of fun I was having because I wanted to save my friend and myself the embarrassment of having to say, “Dude, I hate your game.”

Some of you may be asking, then, “ok, if I can’t trust what I am seeing or what they are saying, how can I tell if they are having fun?” The answer to this question starts before the game even begins. It starts with a pre-game Q&A that you do with the individual players.

This is something that I have been experimenting with for a little bit now. When I first started running games, it was all about me. I had a story that I wanted to tell and I wanted my friends to provide the characters. The problem for this was there would be times, and they were a plenty when I first started, when the characters would want to go one direction inside the story and I needed them to go a different way. Of course, as a GM I would force their decisions to still take them where I needed them to go. The harder they pushed, though, the less fun I could tell they were having and I know the frustrations were detracting from mine as well.

The answer to my quandary came about from my own academic interests in cognitive theory and roleplaying. One of the things that we know about aesthetics and the study of why we read fiction, it is that our brain likes response and reward systems. We even use it as a way to socially pattern ourselves, providing kudos and positive rewards for good work, and admonishing not so good behavior with criticism and negative responses. If we, as GMs, work smarter, by using a similar system, we can produce hours of fun for everyone involved alongside memories that will outlive the game itself.

The first thing we want to understand is what constitutes positive rewards for our players? We want to know what their wants, interests, and needs are. I generally hate this terminology, as it is also what many folks use to determine sales pitches, but the fact is that it works. A few things to consider are:

• What does the player want to get out of the gaming experience?
• What are they interested in exploring during the game?
• What do they need in order to have a fun experience?

Understanding what the player wants to get out of the gaming experience helps us put in perspective what the game means for them. For me, when I have the opportunity to game, it means that I am taking a break from work/school/personal life to get away and relax. This means that I don’t want my time wasted with unnecessary distractions that aren’t related to the experience. My frustration triggers are excessive out of character discussions during designated game time or when the story isn’t moving forward.

Taking a moment to understand what the player wants to explore recognizes one of the historic uses of roleplaying—a safe place to question and consider things that might be bugging me in the real world. Lately, I have been interested in exploring other genders and making sure that gender or race are actually important within the game. This does not mean that I need the games I play in to be filled with gender rhetoric or racism, but rather I want the choices I make about my character to matter within the story. If I am playing a bearded dwarven female, I am ok with being mistaken for a man and consider how that might affect me.

Balancing what people need in order to have fun helps to make sure that you are giving each player a little something that is just for them. One group I have been with does this by giving them some sort of in-game item on (or around) their real-world birthday. It is recognition that they are important. But also understanding what kind of situations are rewarding and fun for the player is useful too. I have friends that love riddles and puzzles, not something they can simply roll a dice and figure out, but something engages them as players to figure out. For others, they like role-playing scenarios where their choice of words can have direct impact on the game. For me, I want to feel like my character is real and my decisions matter.

A way to help figure these things out is working with each player during character creation. I enjoy writing character backstories, as they help set the stage for my character and help me figure out how they fit into the world. I recognize that not every player is going to want to do that, but if it is something you want your players to consider, look at giving them some kind of reward for doing it. An example can be an heirloom item—something they start the game with that comes from their background. The more information given about the backstory and how the character came to possess it, the more the heirloom can be worth.  Remember, rewards can encourage players. If you do this though, make sure to recognize that players are going to come from different comfort levels with writing. You might get someone like me, who details their character from birth to the beginning of the game, or a player that might only provide a list of events.

While they are generating their character, ask them about questions about what they, as players, want to get from the game. Remember if you ask make it relevant in the game. The worst thing you can do is ask questions and feign interest in the answers and then do nothing with them. I would also recommend asking what the character wants to get out of the story too. What sort of short-term and long-term goals do the players have for their character? Because I like to work with pre-generated adventures, these short and long term goals provides ways I can reward the players and provide experiences they will have that is different from what someone else running that game will have.

Keep notes about the characters and what they are working on. I have found that keeping a GM document for each player is useful. I can use this to create side events, vignettes, and long-term story arches for each player and keep them separate. I can also use those to keep track of how they react when they get to interact with their storylines. If I throw out an NPC name that they interacted with during a one-on-one event and they light up, I can make note of that. If there is no reaction or clearly negative reaction, such as body language shut down or aggravation, I can make note to adjust how I am presenting information. Be sure that you are sharing the attention across all the players—everyone wants some time in the light.

As discussed in a previous post, be sure to set aside time are regular intervals to take the pulse of the group. This is a great time to talk about what the character is doing inside the game. Have they met their short-term goals? Based on what has been happening in the game, are their new goals they would like to start working towards and are there some that they want to abandon? Because it can be easier to talk in terms of the character, versus the player, you can also ask if there are different things the characters might like to see happen in the story? This can be especially useful if you have players that can be non-confrontational, who might not speak up about what they need or want. Be prepared to adapt to the information you get and experiment with new approaches.

Most importantly, as the GM, you need to do these things for yourself too. Why are you running the game and what do you want to get out of it? Take some time after the game to reflect on what happened, what went well, what didn’t go well, and review the in-game notes you made. Find a balance that works for you and your players and you will find that each of you are getting the rewards that makes the game engaging and fun and driving you to look forward to the next game.  

Adult Situations and Game Dynamics

I have been playing various RPGs for over twenty years now. The games, and the stories we tell, have grown with me as I have aged. We started with simple dungeon crawls, hacking and slashing with the only motivator being “get the loot, save the girl (or village...).” As our games evolved, we put more emphasis on role-playing and less on roll-playing, as we added complexity and depth. My characters were more than simply a collection of numbers and statistics, but living, breathing, creations of my own imagination. As our games and stories developed, the maturity of the content did as well and without much warning or fanfare, I found myself in some fairly adult situations inside the game.

The first time this happened was when I was around eighteen. In my high school days, my game of choice was Vampire: the Masquerade and I had decided to run the Giovanni Chronicles with them—a chronicle released under White Wolf’s Black Dog Imprint with the clear “For Adults Only” tag at the bottom of each cover.  One particular character was run by a dear friend. He had wanted to play a child vampire, which I thought would make an interesting character. After the initial transformation, the characters have a few breaks to develop their character and when the child re-emerged, he was a rather twisted individual. Part of this could have been attributed to the character’s clan (link) and part of it could have been attributed to the player, but this character more than any other really squigged some of our players out. After some initial concerns were voiced, I asked him to tone it down a bit, but even at the toned down level we ended up losing two players.

At that time, I didn’t realize how powerful imagination and roleplaying can be for some folks. Because our play is mostly in the mind, it can cause nightmares or trigger emotional responses that even the players were unprepared for. By this point, I had several years of gaming and game mastering under my belt, but I simply lacked the emotional experience of age to understand what a character like this could do to the group dynamics and the individual players. Additionally, I let my own personal feelings cloud my judgment. To me, this was all fiction and it was just a game and couldn’t understand why some players could even get uncomfortable.

Since then, I have found myself in a similar position a time or two. More importantly, I have had the opportunity to be the person who was deeply affected by things that were going on inside the game. One particular scenario involved the rape of a fellow PC and while the aftermath did lead to one of the most intense roleplaying experiences I have had the pleasure of being part of, the action itself (even staged off-screen) triggered in me a sense of helplessness that was utterly non-productive for the game. I felt violated and because it was inside my mind, I couldn’t necessarily leave it at the game table. What was more disturbing was that the game master insisted on us pushing through the events and continuing with the game, as it had happened very early in the session and we still had several hours of our allotted game time.

What these experiences have taught me is the importance of understanding and setting boundaries with the players. Roleplaying games, by their very nature, are creative acts that involve collaboration and sensitivity. I think many people forget that roleplaying has been actively used as part of psychotherapy for decades and we as game masters and players need to understand that we are quite literally playing with people’s minds. As such, we can’t simply assume that people will be able to leave all game elements at the table, any more than we can assume they will leave their real world stresses at the door. For this reason, I would always recommend creating open dialog from the beginning with your players.

What this means is that you will want to create a social contract with your players for your game play. If you are playing with the same group across several different games, you can set down some simple house rules that will apply to all games. One of the first ones I would recommend is the general “rating” for the game play. If the group really wants to stick in the realm of PG-13, don’t try to push an adult game on them. If they are alright with more of an “R” figure out what content they are ok with and what ones are firmly off the table. This can be something like, “I am ok with graphic violence as long as it doesn’t involve children, women, or sexual situations,” or “I am ok with sexual situations as long as they happen off-camera,” or variations of those. I would avoid majority rules situations—if three of the four players are ok with something and the fourth person isn’t comfortable, find out if this is a hard limit. If it is, don’t push that limit. Also recognize that people behave in unpredictable ways and you may need to occasionally re-negotiate if someone reacts in a way they weren’t prepared for.

After setting your base ground rules, the next thing I would recommend is setting up a system to deal with unintended consequences. This can include how to deal with unintended hurt feelings or player irritations with one another, to someone had an emotional reaction to game content that no one foresaw.  By setting this system up, you recognize that sometimes the player bleeds through into the character and you have a plan for how to handle it so that it doesn’t negatively impact everyone’s experience. In most cases, I would recommend some way for the player’s or GM to call a hold to what is happening in game and give everyone at the table some space. This can be a good time for a munchie break or for everyone to get some fresh air, but I generally recommend that this break not be used to re-hash what happened or discuss the game. Give yourself a break and talk about something else. When the break is over, as the GM, double check with the players if they want to continue with the game or break early. I have been in plenty of sessions where player frustrations with one another ran high and we should have just taken a break and played a board game instead of frustrations escalating multiple times over the course of several hours.

Another thing that I would recommend is a post-game decompress. Each game may not necessarily need this, but checking in every few sessions can be helpful. Depending on the dynamics of the group, this can be done as a note from player to GM or in open forum. If you are playing an episodic game, this can be done during the natural downtime between episodes/chapters and allows folks to bring up concerns. One of the hardest parts of GMing is needing to manage not only what is happening inside the game world, but also what is happening outside and between players. Make sure that you are open to revising the game to meet your player’s needs. This is our hobby and the last thing we want to do is create unnecessary stress that can detract from everyone’s fun. Some groups, especially if it is new, may need more hand holding while the dynamics are built. Others that have been long running may only need help when they add new players.

The biggest piece of advice that I can give is this: “Listen and Watch.” Listen to their vocal tone—are they angry, frustrated, or excited? Are they sitting forward in their chair? Are they pushed back from the table, with their arms across their chest? Are they quiet and just rolling dice and not really engaging? All of these are different tells that you can use to gauge the group and what they need and want in the game. Listen to these clues and work with your players to see what they need and you will find that not only are you having fun, but they are as well. 

A New Home

Not that I have been blogging frequently, but I have realized that the bulk of my writing tends to split down into a few primary themes, with one of them being gaming. Because gaming is a big part of my social outlet and a dominant source of my writing, I figured it is about time for me to split off and have a separate blog specifically for my gaming related writing. I will still be posting my personal essays on my primary blog and may occasionally cross post in both places.

My intent for this blog will be a space for me to give advice about gaming, character stories, advice, and reviews. This is not necessarily limited to role-playing games and it is my intention to include content about the various games I play. To this end, I am not much of a video gamer. I have really tried to get into them, but especially as graphics improve and there is a bigger push for first person style games, I find myself completely unable to play. Give me a good side scroll-er and I am set, but alas those days seem far behind us.